September 28, 2012

Nerdy and Funny

In celebration of finishing my first test of this semester I thought it would be a good time to relax with a little science humor. Here are some funny one liners for you to enjoy....I am off to study for the next test.

4/3 people don't understand fractions.

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

Flying is simple. Throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity.

Square root of negative one. I have an imaginary friend.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

The probability you just read this sentence: 1

The probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Studies show...that starting any sentence with "studies show" makes people more likely to believe whatever nonsense you say.

Meiosis...results may vary

friction is a drag

I'm not lazy, I'm overflowing with potential energy

Biology, the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing

As a scientist, I am constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale. And sometimes they spill...

support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have

Health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you can help but smile when one tumbles down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero

2 is not equal to 3. even for very large values of 2

Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings. 

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

Can you hear that? That's the sound of a hundred nerds somewhere complaining about completely insignificant details. 

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