I did not mean to take so much time in between posts. I really want to dedicate more time to writing posts but life is so busy for me now. For those who don't know - I have started classes and UT in hopes of finally completing my degree. It has been a dream of mine for many, many, many years and now I am taking the bull by the horns and doing it. I just didn't realize this bull would be so big, so strong and so ornery. To be completely honest this endeavor scares me to death. I am 10+ years older than most students, it's been 4+ years since my last class and I have a wonderful family that I desparately love and don't want to neglect.
I keep having to tell myself that I am doing this to accomplish a dream, like a runner just trying to finish a race, not necessarily trying win the thing. But it is not within my nature to not try to be the best and I tend to see failure in myself for any little mistake. I fear failing. Failing my classes, my children, my husband. How does one keep all these balls in the air and have any vestige of success?
For me the answer to that question lies on how I chose to define success. I have decided that my success depends on, and only on, the fact that I am doing the thing, that I am holding on to this proverbial bull and not letting go. I may get a lot of bumps and bruises along the way - heck, I may even get bucked off. But you know what, that bull is going to know he has been ridden. He will bear the marks of one unwilling to let go no matter how hard he want me too.
Well, that was me letting some stuff off my chest. I hope everyone is having a wonderfully blessed weekend. I will be talking to you soon.
Much Love,
Diana
